Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I am simply capable

of the best and worst things.

I often run to new surroundings
tricking myself into believing that I won't hurt again.

But the past comes back.
Comes to the forefront.
You were never gone and I've not forgot.

I refuse to think that I dwell there,
in the past,
but who can help it when their mind just won't stop screaming, "WHAT IF? WHAT IF?!"
I can't escape my thoughts.

Whether they are beating me over the head or slinking in unnoticed,
they always get the best of me.
Restraining the rest of me.
Is this my destiny?
To constantly find myself stock-still
because the intuition of my cognition is stuck on an earlier edition?

God, rescue me.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I refuse

to give up hope on humanity.
Surrounded by constant calamity-
always dealing with the next tragedy:

this isn't the end of me.

This isn't how we're supposed to be.
Broken, hopeless, lives a constant struggle and messy.
Impress upon me, Lord, your love of thee.
Be all that You will be in me
that I might shine with a light so divine
to pierce those dark corners of the world,
giving the hopeless more time.

A glimmer.
That's all I need.
It's all I need to know that You're there.
That You're here.
That You care.
That my heart breaking is an extension of Yours.
That I'm not simply weak, but connected with You as You suffer when looking upon this world.

Broken, twisted, yearning, depraved.

You still love.
You still care.
You'll pull us out of this, somehow
somewhere.

I need You.

Friday, October 21, 2011

The cello:

a song was never sung so sweet.
A lullaby that soothes and makes the heart weep.

The sad, strong strokes provoke one to relive words once spoke.
Reminding of the lonely spaces in our hearts,
those once forgotten parts...

Grace with sorrow, finding solitude in its resilience.
Derelict of its brilliance.
It's wisdom, far beyond my years.
Just tales of old to it are my present fears.

The only fit duet,
would be to silently step-
tiptoe with fervor as a dancer with grace
and angst, limbs extending, each leaving a trace
of the hurt, of the pain, of the love that did sting-
deep breath at the core; let the emotions wring.

The heart is the only necessity.
The sole ingredient of the recipe.
Slow realizing destiny,
is my well-weathered friend.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I will wander

through the lovely woods,

find myself a nice little spot,

and search for God.

I need Him to hear me.
I'm desperate to hear Him.

.beloved.

Friday, October 14, 2011

There are a few,

a select few,
whom I appreciate dearly. With my life.
Those very select few who don't allow me to keep asking them how are you doing?
What have you been up to?
How did that go?
What did you think about that?

They make me stop.

They turn me around.

And they ask how I am doing.
And they really care. They really want to hear.
They pray over me in good times and bad.

Those are the people I rest in.
The people who I know really care.

I love so many people. And I'm curious about so many people.
But those few who bring it back help me keep going every day.

They do not expect me to be anybody but myself.
They do not expect me to maintain a strong front.

I am broken with thankfulness.
I don't know what I'd do without you.

<3 humbledandgrateful.

Monday, October 10, 2011

A picture is worth a thousand words

I constantly wish to explain my thousand.

Words.
Words have power.
Words give something and let you have something within the hour.
Words give you description, explanation, setting, and all.
But what you take from words is where the meaningfulness falls.

Words on a page can give me the setting
but my imagination soars, it's the picture that I'M getting.

Yes the imagination, but ah, my heart:
I can let a poem bring me to my knees
or feel a quotation make life like a breeze.
In seconds, words can change who you are.
Molding the heart, helping you see that star.

We're not so far apart, myself and the world,
a few simple sentences can help heal the hurt,
make others feel like dirt,
let off a vibe and flirt,
lose control and blurt,
in an awkward moment, divert,
or with power, exert.

Words affect change.

And I want change for the better.
Words that impact won't keep me a forgetter.

Change the world by changing your words.
What are you saying?
And is it worth being heard?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Fall;

makes me think of cripsness
of excellent music, such distinctness.
My heart falling every time to a tune so serene
my heart can't help but lean into love all around me.
It surrounds me.
I sway to the tune
sometimes, too far, henceforth I swoon.

This music wraps me up in its melody.
I can't breathe any bad for the life of me.
The beat of the drum brings out the free in me.
I spin and I turn; I must move my feet.
I can't be complete without this motion that lets my heart flee my body.

.the drudgery of everyday wears away with the songs we play.