Sunday, January 31, 2010


I've felt this way a bit lately.
Mostly because I feel distant from the majority of my friends.
Business has caged me in from being social;
I eat, I sleep, I work out, I shower, I go to class, I do homework, I read, I write papers, I sleep....
I do activities as well- but where has the spontaneity gone?
Where has the adventure gone?

Where have I gone?

I am NOT powerless.
I want to grab life by the horns and throw it to the ground.
Never defeated.
You can put me down or pull me back
but eventually the chains come off;
I come back more powerful than ever.

And more aware of my weakness.
I am a walking contradiction.

Don't touch me- I'll never stop.

Will I ever?

Friday, January 29, 2010

"No, homework,

I'm not gazing out the window, yearning to breathe free. -I mean...

I'm dressing up and putting on make-up because the outside world is actually going to see me. I spend so much time in here with you, I don't get to go out and have fun enough! So- I'm going out tonight.

Please don't talk like that; You know I love you.
I just have to leave for a bit tonight...

No, I'm not meeting up with anyone.

Just, don't wait up for me, OK?"

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sometimes I fade

into the background.

I'm realizing that my personality is changing.

I used to not agree with my Myer-Briggs test results that told me I am an introvert-
but lately, I am seeing it.
I am better at listening and asking questions than carrying the weight of a conversation.
When I am asked to talk about myself, I often feel like I babble and am saying too much-
but I love hearing others' stories...

I sit in silence and watch with eyes;
the humor brings a smile.
I concentrate and dig real deep;
before talking, wait awhile.

But other times I want to sing
in the halls, or maybe dance.
I'll laugh real loud and cover my mouth;
Embarrassed, I see them glance.

I'll strut my stuff and beat-box riffs,
bein' goofy and having fun.
But other times I stay inside
when I can't see the sun.

All around- we're up and down
the days they come and go.
I learn knew things of me each day
I never cease to grow.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I hate to see you hurt.

I hate to see others act selfishly, leaving so many in hurt.
I hate tears that feel as though they will never stop.

That hole in your chest that gapes open, pouring all hope out;
hold it together. Hold it together.

There is tomorrow.
For you, there is always tomorrow.

You are meant to bring life to this Earth.
The opposite makes you cry and wonder why.

But we don't live to die.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I crave

an adrenaline rush.
This crappy weather makes me want to be bum-like and sleep a lot.

I want a roller coaster.
I want to mountain climb with the warm sun on my back.
I want to parasail and feel the wind in my hair.
I want to ride that two-person ride that is basically a cage with bungie strings that whips you up and down.
I want to hit some [small] jumps while snowboarding (and then fall, because my skill level is loooow).

I just want some action-packed fun before this season lulls me into a lame coma.

Because lame comas are lame.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The happy couple

apparently decided to use the quick means of transportation; floo powder!

....Anyone? Anyone?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Resistance is futile.

Haha. Yes, I'm Christian, but I couldn't resist this picture.

I've never completely understood confirmation.
You see, I never have been.
I first went to a church where they confirmed kids,
then I switched to a church that doesn't.

I am accepted, taught and loved at my church.
Why the paperwork, parties and cake?

Monday, January 18, 2010

Just when I think my parade has been rained on

You show me that rain brings life;
helps things grow.

Grow inside me a willingness to put myself last.
To trust.
To know I am cared for.
To know not to sweat the little things.
To notice the beautiful things that can come out of disarray.

To notice You.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Over break

I felt inclined to do something drastic.
Something that I felt strongly about.

I wanted to pull a child out of a vehicle where their parent was smoking.

Come on!
Have you missed all the secondhand smoking commercials?
Do you not realize that, not only are you slowly killing yourself, you're setting up your child to have problems as well?
Don't you love?
Don't you care?

Each cigarette smoked shortens your life 11 minutes.
Do you want to be there for your child?

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.
But you are yellowing your teeth, staining your fingers, and you reek. You do.

Get help.
There is plenty out there.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Silence might get loud.

Now that I am living without a roomie, things have gotten pretty quiet around here. So I just have to say...

I am thankful for my humidifier.

Dang. I might even name it.
THAT is how much I appreciate it's soothing "whirrrrr" sound it makes.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

"She lives in a fairy tale

somewhere too far for us to find."

I'm finding it for myself again.
What was holding me back before?

Fly, fly and don't look back.

All is well within my soul.
He has made me glad.

Live it. Live it, girl.

Friday, January 8, 2010


"Say Yes to the Dress" gives women with imaginations like myself waaaay to much to dream about.

.Shame on you.


So when are you on next?

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Of all the things that make me sick

the cobwebs that cover my heart are the worst.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Remind me:

I need to add "shave a live animal" to my list of things I want to do before I die.

Really, how fun would that be?