Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I could really

go with a decoder about now.

What is up with me?

I'm supposed to be happy.
But all that is...just not present.


I cannot put my finger on it/them...

"And the world keeps spinnin, and I'm still livin..."

Sunday, December 4, 2011

I have to do. I have to say it:

You only get so many days
so many breaths
so many minutes
where you are now.
And every good and bad thing that is happening could change.
You could never get it back, ever.

This moment, right now, is happening. Now.
Your life is a song,
a semblance of who you are, what you value, what you long for...
are you dancing?
Throwing rotten tomatoes?
Crying at the sound, the noise?
Are you frozen in silence or cowering in the corner?
In any state: life is beckoning;
It's not going to wait for you.
It rambles on; it is relentless in its pursuit for tomorrow.

And I can taste the passion on my tongue.
I can feel the beating of my heart.
I feel the ache in my feet from staidness in my current predicament.
I want to move on, move forward-
but I can't bear the thought of departing from where I am now.
There is so much for me here, now.
And I am/have been/will waste my time.

My heart calls for something much more than the everyday.
I can't be throwing my days away.
But there are rules to follow and games to play-
but I simply don't want a part.
I want to tear apart the every day and breathe life and give my blessings away.

God, still my heart, for a moment, for I can't handle this passion that You've placed, burning inside of me.
Fill my days with opportunities.
Let me see what are the actual priorities.
Remind me to get on my knees and pray....
because I want to live, forever, in Your Way.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

There is something about

fall and winter that gets me.
It gets me good.
It gets who I am and my heart and I simply want to hold onto these seasons because...they just get me.

They let me do as I wish:
snuggling up in blankets
sipping warm beverages
basking in the warm glow of soft lights
having an excellent excuse to stay in for the night
time to watch movies and read books
to write and organize and synthesize all the things I want to accomplish that long, sunny days will one day observe.

The fall and winter are restful seasons, to me.
They embrace my inner hermit that rarely gets to express itself.
Just my closest friends will see me. And my heart will wrap around theirs in a way that "stressed me" just can't relax enough to let happen. I can find my best self in these days.

My heart finds love in many forms during these seasons.
It is inspired in fresh ways during these seasons.
Those are good enough reasons to want them around
a little longer
I must say.
I'm loving today.