Thursday, February 24, 2011

Post drama [i wish].

I strongly dislike being the middle person.
I wish peeps would talk face-to-face.
I hear both sides and want to help
but it's all around me.
I'm interwoven to the very subject and I can't wriggle free without injury.

But hear this:
If you talk and never listen
you are alone
and you won't grow a bit.

We need to strive to listen
to understand
to give one another a chance before mounting an argument to prove a point.

This world is bigger than all of this. We are miniscule.
Just lay down your insecurities and love one another.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sometimes it seems that

but then you realize you wouldn't even have the energy or will to do that.

That is when you know you are down.

The nights are long and dreary
but they fly by in a flash
so I feel no rest.
I awake to rain on my window and a darkened sky.
It never slows but I must ramble on.
Forever on in this life that is so beautiful
and within it so many meaningless things that I cling to.

I want air.

Be satisfied.
But I shan't.

"save me from the dark."
No more winter, I beg You.

I was craving

a nice, long car ride the other day-
then I realized, the service trip is coming up!

I will be traveling to 3 major US cities over Spring break to provide several locations with worship music and service.

This all happens in a week, ya'll!

This means there will be good chunks of time where I'll have to sit tight in a massive van full of people and I'll have time to just...stare out the window.
(This probably sounds wicked boring, but stay tuned).

I grew up riding the bus to school, and I was one of the earlier kids to get on the bus and later kids to get off the bus.
I had so much time to dream up lovely thoughts and think through any difficulty life presented.

To this day:
I like to think.
I like to ponder, to contemplate.
I like to dream, daydream.
I can keep myself amused for hours without entertainment.

Hence my love of long car rides.

If not for the thoughtfulness, I can at least crank some Ke$ha and feel like a million bucks.

Tah :)

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Where am I?

What do I want?
What should I do?
What is best?

Where are my words and the thoughts behind them?

.questions of the day.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I'm not a super girly person

but I do enjoy taking care of my nails.

They feel so good after being buffed and filed...
and picking out a polish color is a treat :)

My nails grow pretty fast, but I haven't grown them out in awhile due to playing guitar.
I shall miss their length.
Today, I'm going with a clear coat-
..I enjoy the natural purpleish color my nails become when I'm chilly.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I feel the struggle.

As much as I can understand, I wrestle with too.
I fall apart and hold it together too.
I empathize, I strategize
only to realize-

this isn't my fight.

I want to help
but we'll see what that means.

But I'm here for you, I am...

Monday, February 14, 2011

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Ok, ok.

I'm getting the point, God.
I'm still fighting You on it,
fighting to defend myself,
but please don't stop-
I know You're right.

Keep backing me into that corner.
Keep perforating my pride.
Eventually I'll give up-
and I hope I completely can.
God, help me completely forgive
give my all
live recklessly, sharing Your love-
because I cannot do it myself right now.

You alone are above all this and can make it right.
Oh God.
Oh God...

Monday, February 7, 2011

I have found my roadblock in college.

My capstone professor has said that he wants me to dig deeper into issues that I write about for daily assignments.
But see,
I do say all of what I think on the issue. I don't quite reach the writing requirement length. And I definitely don't take a strong stance.
My problem?

I have given in to postmodern thought.
It rules me.
I've found that there is next to nothing that I can hold onto and say "I know this is true"-
so, having my postmodern brain, I think,
"Well, nobody can actually know for sure, so why try to figure it out?"

Knowledge is so important. And it so is not.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Well hello butterflies,

I am glad to know

that you have not become extinct within me.