Monday, September 27, 2010

I may return home

this weekend.
I need to drop off some things
I need to pick up some things
and the good Lord knows I have dirty laundry (thanks Madre!).

I look forward to my country escape;
where the air is cleaner
the stars are brighter
and sound is quieter.

Poppy will be harvesting,
but I will get some time with him.
I will sit alongside him in the combine
and I will love every moment.

I will visit Grandpa.
He is so old
and so wonderfully beautiful.
He has supported me my entire life.
His eyes sparkle when I enter the room.
He makes me so very happy- I must see him!

I will chill with Madre.
It's time for some good ol' girl time!
I will pull her away from doing the books
and we shall have fun and catch up on life.
Giggles will abound and Poppy will smirk at his silly girls.

Oh home. Come back to me.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Have you ever napped outdoors?

When the temperature was juuuust right?
When you didn't even need a blanket to cover up with because the atmosphere was just lovely?
I have.
It is glorious. and earthy. and mmm.
I usually find a nice place under a tree
grab a comfy blanket
and lay on down.

But the truth is, when it comes down to it,
I'm more of an indoorsy person.

Though I love nature and appreciate the outdoors
I am much more comfortable indoors.

I don't have to worry about my skin being eaten by the sun, for instance.
Or bugs crawling on me beyond their welcome.
And I don't like having to shower several times a day (hot days can be blehck for this normally warmer-than-average girl).

I would never rid my life of the outdoors though.
I love discovering new plants
climbing on rocks and trees
walking through streams
and feeling sunshine on my shoulders (thank you, John Denver).

It is glorious. I do get my fill.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

There are some things

that I am just not good at.

Making change.
Doing math in my head.
Remembering names (see below).
Drawing well.
Wake-boarding/water skiing.
Killing anything.
Lying (though I try to never ever do this anyway).
Writing songs (tragedy).
Watching serious movies (takes soooo much effort).
Remembering what I need to get done/where I need to go without writing it down.
Parking in tight spaces.
Understanding chemistry.
Not asking questions (I am so darn curious).
And solving rubix cubes.

And I'm ok with it.
God has gifted me many other ways.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


If yo name is:
or any alternative spelling of any of these names
I will probably have an issue remembering your name.
It's not that you aren't worth knowing.
That's not it at all.
It's just that I know about 8 other girls by that name already and my brain capacity is resisting adding another.
So forgive me if I ask 3 times.
And maybe tell me a really weird fact about yourself
so then I can mentally store you as "girl who drinks her juice out of bowls" rather than Katie #9.

Note: There are more names that should be on this list
but hence, I cannot remember them.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Used and thrown away.

I love throwing things away.
It makes me feel like I am simplifying my life by getting rid of all the extra.
The broken
the torn
the faded
the unacceptable, beyond repair (or beyond my style).
By filling a trash bag, I then get to throw that out-
and all that junk is out of my life, out of my way.
A new bag replaces it and I feel a silly sense of accomplishment.

I am uncertain about recycling.
Though I feel good about setting aside certain things that I believe will be recycled, I'm not always sure what will and what won't be accepted.
I don't know where my recyclables go, or if they're even being recycled with the utmost efficiency.
I put my items aside, taking the time and energy, and I hope for the best.
On the other hand, I am more likely to buy something that is made from recycled materials than not. Even if it's a bit more expensive.
I like to help the environment.
I also like to feel like I don't something good.
And, well....being environmentally friendly is hip, yo.

I adore donating things to secondhand stores.
I know that these are going to a good cause (like Goodwill)
and if they don't like my items, it's their issue to throw it away (guilt freeeee!).

I love buying things from secondhand stores.
Those stores are filled with hidden treasures.
Cheap, unique, sometimes old, hidden treasures.
And vintage clothing. I lahf the vintage clothing.

We gotta use what we got.
We gotta throw away and recycle what we not.
.represent dah Earth ya'll.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I just googled

"commitment phobia"
and I fear I may have it.

I hardly give things a chance.
If I do, I quickly find stupid reasons to stop.
I don't like to join things that involve a lot of commitment unless I love it through and through.

I guess this is why I have often thought that I'm not a very ambitious person.
I rarely make goals that I have to work for- unless I'm completely dedicated and passionate.
I fear I may fail.
I fear judgment.
I fear losing myself.
I fear that I fear too much.

I am missing out.

As far as relationships go, I have to feel extremely comfortable
otherwise I feel I am out on a shaky limb of fear that's about to snap.
To avoid that limb, I avoid the tree all together- and I'm tired of it.
Commitment phobia doesn't mean a person doesn't want to love and be loved-
it means they have definite things they need to work through and someone who is supportive.

start and lead a drum line.
allow self to be loved.
love others without worrying so much.
-stop worrying. start living-

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I was hypnotized tonight

and apparently it was a bit entertaining.

When I went into "deep sleep" the first time
I schlumped over and laid my face on a girl's boobs.

Also, there was a part where a friend of mine had to tell everyone in the "pool" (audience) to get out because there was a shark.

I started sobbing.

I have a phobia of sharks
and I was worried for my friend.
My makeup ran.

I'm glad my friend's OK and that sharks do not actually inhabit auditoriums.

Oh good-sounding suggestions...