I just googled

"commitment phobia"

and I fear I may have it.

I hardly give things a chance.

If I do, I quickly find stupid reasons to stop.

I don't like to join things that involve a lot of commitment unless I love it through and through.

I guess this is why I have often thought that I'm not a very ambitious person.

I rarely make goals that I have to work for- unless I'm completely dedicated and passionate.

I fear I may fail.

I fear judgment.

I fear losing myself.

I fear that I fear too much.

I am missing out.

As far as relationships go, I have to feel extremely comfortable

otherwise I feel I am out on a shaky limb of fear that's about to snap.

To avoid that limb, I avoid the tree all together- and I'm tired of it.

Commitment phobia doesn't mean a person doesn't want to love and be loved-

it means they have definite things they need to work through and someone who is supportive.

Goals:

start and lead a drum line.

allow self to be loved.

love others without worrying so much.

-stop worrying. start living-