Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I have found

that when the family gets together for the holidays,
I am the gap between adult and child.
I almost feel as though I need to choose which role to play.

And the kids always win.

My spirit is hurt if the adults find it silly-
but they are glad the actual chilluns are amused and not bothering them.

Is this how the world should work??
Should we have to choose?
Should children be an annoyance,
or brighten our lives?

Let's all take our shoes off and slide across the kitchen floor.

Where has our sense of adventure gone?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Don't be scared of the mystery.

The mystery of women.
We are complex creatures, no doubt- but we were created that way. It's part of what makes us so beautiful.

Though we may be complex, all women have one longing, one desire inside their hearts. We have a Question.

That Question is:

Am I lovely?

All women were created to be feminine of heart; we want to be lovely, beautiful, desired, be worthy of love. We want to be fought for, to be pursued and respected and treated like a princess.

But so many are lost along the way.
Why is this?
It can happen at different points in life.

A girl begins with her relationship with her father. She shows off her little Sunday school dress and wants to know if she is lovely. It is ingrained in her. If she does not get the positive attention she needs, it will hurt.

Later in life, women go to men to have their Question answered. Many fragile hearts of women have been trampled as a result of this. "You're ugly." "You're fat." "You're stupid." "You're not enough." Or, if they are accepted, they will hinge their beauty on that relationship. They do not know of their loveliness apart from that person. It has the potential to rip their feminine heart apart.

Women put themselves through emotional Hell because of their Question.
Because they take it to the wrong person.

Their Question should be directed at God.

"I want to be beautiful
And make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
I just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful" Bethany Dillon "Beautiful"

"Am I lovely?"

"The King is enthralled by your beauty" Psalm 45:11

God created you in His image! He looks upon you as a fair maiden, worthy of His love that He wants so strongly to give you!

"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her" Hosea 2:14

God wants you to come to HIM with your Question. He will set your heart on fire and free, all at the same time.

(This post is based on the book, "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. ALL WOMEN SHOULD READ THIS BOOK. There is a book for men as well called "Wild at Heart" that discusses the Question in all men's hearts. Go get these books!)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

You talk about all the same things.

And I don't really dig those things anymore.
And, well, you ARE those things.


Well whaddaya know?
Did I get your back up?
I apologize if I did.

I'm still learning
every day.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fashion is exciting.

But really, who wears this?

The human body can be the canvas for art.
The human body is art.
Make up, jewelry, clothes, hair...

Love to look.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Attention Family:

Christmas break is coming up.
I want you all to prepare yourselves for some feisty games of Scrabble.

Brother- Reminder: It's just a game.
Mom- prepare to calm the brother. And sporadically laugh insanely (I'll have my video phone ready).
Dad- Please refrain from using words like "ARF," "BOO" and "UGH" (and by refrain I mean totally go for it).

We might also pull out Sorry or Monopoly.
Prepare for your loved ones to lie about being sorry for you,
and know that table talk and deals will be plentiful (there are faster ways of making $200 than by just going past "Go").

These are some ways we connect.
Can we create some new ones too?
Love you.

And don't forget to bring it.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

What do we do with the time?

What do we do with the memories?
Time flies by.
We're just a glimpse.
I glimpse of self-proclaimed glory.

We are nothing but static.

But we are everything.
This life is one of which one can certainly not be certain.
To grasp the concept is to be completely befuddled by it.

What is this, compared to all that?
I remember your face.
I remember this place.
The smell lingers and I recall.
But the walls have changed.
All has been rearranged.

Home? Call me quickly.
For even life is declared deadly.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

What am I to say?

I stand within a moment of time.
My breath only lingers-
my vocal chords only hint at the depth of my soul.
Can you read me?

Tell me a story- I'll sing it back to you.

And we'll continually fall
through these moments in time.

What if it's the last?
What if it won't last?

To cling or separate.
To cling or separate..

Friday, December 11, 2009

"Immanuel (The Redeemer)" by For Today

You’re not alone, my son. I made you for so much more than this. Don’t be afraid, my child, for I have overcome the world. Go tell the world that I would die for them to know me. And I would die for them to live. And this is life: that they would know you, God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

This is life, child. I’ll give you everything. And you can stand tall for there is life in me. Now, let the blood I shed be just enough for you to know that you will always have a home with me--no, you will not be abandoned.

All hell will not stand against us, for only those who choose to die will claim the life I have for them.

So now the question stands: Would you die for me?

Can you hear it? Can you hear my voice? I’ve been calling you since the day you were born, to come home to the place I’ve prepared for you. You’re not alone.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Blogs are supposed to be a release, but

I must remind myself that, for the sake of art, I mustn't feel held back.
I must write what I must.

No excuses.
No excuses.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My hair.

It lengthens.
This excites me.
I chopped it off oh, so, long ago
and it is returning!

I love to play with, to spin, to twirl, to straighten, to pull back, to blow dry, to throw around:
my hair.

Toss over the shoulder.
Oh, the sexy.

Monday, December 7, 2009

It's good to know

that you're still you;
still as ambitious and silly as ever.

It's comforting to know
that we can still talk.

So much has changed, but then again
not really.

"I've seen the best and worst of you
But we're sticking through
Because without all of the ups and downs
We've been through
You know that its true
That I could really get sick and tired of you. :P

Sorry about the mess
But when we team up, team up,
We always seem to bring this place to the ground."

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Don't judge what you don't know.

Your minds are shallow;
I did not expect that.
You spoke badly of my background without even realizing the insult you were dishing out.

Shut your mouths.
Open your minds, your hearts.

You assume.

And you know what that does.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Think back:

It felt like the wind rushing through your hair.
Your feet running away- to the direction of your heart.
It felt like a rhythm playing in your head that could not be dismissed.
It was the smile you flashed as you danced.
You had no inhibitions.
The baggage flew off.

You lived.
You were free.

The world was your burrito.

And we loved.
We are called to love.
We are free to love-
without an agenda.

Call me crazy, but I love you.
I love you with every ounce of my being.

Fearless; the window that calls me outward.
I follow with graceful footsteps;
so silent, but so raucous, it musn't be ignored.

I follow. I follow freely.
I inspire for the source of it.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

It's a shame you don't have to explain or defend yourself.

You want my opinion.
I give it.
It's too "stream of conciousness" for you.

Well that is me.

Would you rather hear my opinion
or have me tell you, like a robot, what you're expecting to hear?

You love to hear yourself talk.
You think you are God's gift to the subject.

You can shove it.

(Btw- I do enjoy your class. It's an issue.)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Was it worth it?

Did watching your football team make you feel more joyful, more complete, more loved?

I'm here.
For awhile.
Why don't you take the time?
I'm here.
For awhile.
You sit in the front of the TV as if it is the center of your universe.

I live, I breathe, I give, I receive- technology does not.
You want to relax after a hard day's work?-
Well, I want to be loved and appreciated when I come to visit.

Now, I love you. But do you know that? Do you take the time to see?
Can I make a little dent in your daily routine?

Please understand that there will come a day that I won't be able to visit.
When my life is so busy and wrapped up in work and my family that I will be a bit tied down.
You will miss me then.
You will miss me then.

Make your time worth it now.
Make the most of every minute- don't you see?