I have found

that when the family gets together for the holidays,
I am the gap between adult and child.
I almost feel as though I need to choose which role to play.

And the kids always win.

My spirit is hurt if the adults find it silly-
but they are glad the actual chilluns are amused and not bothering them.

Is this how the world should work??
Should we have to choose?
Should children be an annoyance,
or brighten our lives?

Let's all take our shoes off and slide across the kitchen floor.

Where has our sense of adventure gone?

Don't be scared of the mystery.

The mystery of women.
We are complex creatures, no doubt- but we were created that way. It's part of what makes us so beautiful.

Though we may be complex, all women have one longing, one desire inside their hearts. We have a Question.

That Question is:

Am I lovely?

All women were created to be feminine of heart; we want to be lovely, beautiful, desired, be worthy of love. We want to be fought for, to be pursued and respected and treated like a princess.

But so many are lost along the way.
Why is this?
It can happen at different points in life.

A girl begins with her relationship with her father. She shows off her little Sunday school dress and wants to know if she is lovely. It is ingrained in her. If she does not get the positive attention she needs, it will hurt.

Later in life, women go to men to have their Question answered. Many fragile hearts of women have been trampled as a result of this. "You're ugly." "You're fat." "You're stupid." "You're not enough." Or, if they are accepted, they will hinge their beauty on that relationship. They do not know of their loveliness apart from that person. It has the potential to rip their feminine heart apart.

Women put themselves through emotional Hell because of their Question.
Because they take it to the wrong person.

Their Question should be directed at God.

"I want to be beautiful
And make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
I just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful" Bethany Dillon "Beautiful"

"Am I lovely?"

"The King is enthralled by your beauty" Psalm 45:11

God created you in His image! He looks upon you as a fair maiden, worthy of His love that He wants so strongly to give you!

"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her" Hosea 2:14

God wants you to come to HIM with your Question. He will set your heart on fire and free, all at the same time.

(This post is based on the book, "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. ALL WOMEN SHOULD READ THIS BOOK. There is a book for men as well called "Wild at Heart" that discusses the Question in all men's hearts. Go get these books!)

You talk about all the same things.

And I don't really dig those things anymore.
And, well, you ARE those things.

rift.

Well whaddaya know?
Did I get your back up?
I apologize if I did.


I'm still learning
every day.

Fashion is exciting.

But really, who wears this?

The human body can be the canvas for art.
The human body is art.
Make up, jewelry, clothes, hair...

Love to look.

Attention Family:

Christmas break is coming up.
I want you all to prepare yourselves for some feisty games of Scrabble.

Brother- Reminder: It's just a game.
Mom- prepare to calm the brother. And sporadically laugh insanely (I'll have my video phone ready).
Dad- Please refrain from using words like "ARF," "BOO" and "UGH" (and by refrain I mean totally go for it).

We might also pull out Sorry or Monopoly.
Prepare for your loved ones to lie about being sorry for you,
and know that table talk and deals will be plentiful (there are faster ways of making $200 than by just going past "Go").

These are some ways we connect.
Can we create some new ones too?
Love you.

And don't forget to bring it.

What do we do with the time?

What do we do with the memories?
Time flies by.
We're just a glimpse.
I glimpse of self-proclaimed glory.

We are nothing but static.

But we are everything.
This life is one of which one can certainly not be certain.
To grasp the concept is to be completely befuddled by it.

What is this, compared to all that?
I remember your face.
I remember this place.
The smell lingers and I recall.
But the walls have changed.
All has been rearranged.

Home? Call me quickly.
For even life is declared deadly.

What am I to say?

I stand within a moment of time.
My breath only lingers-
my vocal chords only hint at the depth of my soul.
Can you read me?

Tell me a story- I'll sing it back to you.

And we'll continually fall
through these moments in time.

What if it's the last?
What if it won't last?

To cling or separate.
To cling or separate..