Were we exactly where we were meant to be

underneath that Christmas tree...

Toca la guitarra

I never thought I'd really be a guitar girl.
I never thought I'd be leading a worship band.

Yet here I am.

                                                              God amazes me.

Hot Mess.

These words are best
to describe a life unsettled.

The past year has been one of the roughest of my life.
And things aren't completely as I wish them to be.
I'm ok- and I'm blessed,
but I feel I can never rest until I've got control.
And of what?
For what cause?
I'd like to make some time and think of it, take pause;
but I'm running ahead whilst standing still.
I've got to move soon or I fear to turn ill.

S.

Sitting on the bathroom floor
whispering your name to darkness
tears dropping all around
there's no consolation in this town.

Not really.
No one here knew you like I did.
And I can't rid myself of all the memories we had together (I'll keep them)
We said goodbye like we'd have forever... (mistakes, I hope not to repeat them)

You saw life as humorous and serious..
Serious you.
But then you'd break into song and dance-
and with a quick glance I'd give in to chance and prance with you.

You made life contagious-
your courage sprinkled our lives outrageous.

Thank you for your care.
Thank you for the deep talks.
Thank you for the long walks.
Thank you for always being you; unique and stunning you.

I kept the bracelet, I kept the movie.
I enjoyed the food, the fishing, the gaming, the dancing, romancing,
Climbing up the snow hill and taking you to choir,
In talks of growing up and faith, you always did inspire.
I learned a lot from you.  I'm shocked to see you're gone.
But in my heart and of those you love, you surely will live on.

Such a blessing in our lives, taken too soon.
I will miss you.

"There's one more angel in Heaven, there's one more star in the sky"

I think I'll

spin. 

Just spin and see where I land.

See if I'll be caught, or picked up, or giggled at or with.

Spin because so much is a blur in life anyway.

We're counting the days away.

And I couldn't tell you the way I wish it'd go.

God's painting with the roller;

I'm praying for the fine strokes.

When there are no words

I could say

that would be honest and make things better

or I could be honest and make things worse..

How much does one keep in?

It seems I just can't win.

I want to be all I can

but circumstances call for choices I don't want to be making.

And the past creeps in silently, filling me with dread-

is it all in my head?

Sometimes I think I care too much.

Then I'm convinced I'm heartless.

Decide for me? For you? For them?

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT BEING HAPPY.

I'm not sure how I do it.

I can want and wait at the same time.

Somethin' inside me tells me it's fate-

that if it's gonna happen, it won't be late.

Some think I lack ambition

but it just strive for such a different mission.

Some goals are all full of holes;

mine are in a whole new dimension.

Intention.

I intend to be the best person I can be.
Taking life as it comes, without regret,

my words indelibly marked in your mind-

I won't waste your time.

The potential is fabulous, but you gotta grab at this

cuz the next second I'm walking

Can't understand just talking

Won't stand around gawking.

But my feet are the ones to move.

Shall I skip? Leap? Retreat?

Right now I'm just standin' still.

Proverbially tip-toeing 'round the tulips

til these two lips can utter will.