Where am I?

What do I want?

What should I do?

What is best?

Where are my words and the thoughts behind them?

.questions of the day.

I'm not a super girly person

but I do enjoy taking care of my nails.

They feel so good after being buffed and filed...

and picking out a polish color is a treat :)

My nails grow pretty fast, but I haven't grown them out in awhile due to playing guitar.

I shall miss their length.

Today, I'm going with a clear coat-

..I enjoy the natural purpleish color my nails become when I'm chilly.

Cheers!

I feel the struggle.

As much as I can understand, I wrestle with too.

I fall apart and hold it together too.

I empathize, I strategize

only to realize-

this isn't my fight.

I want to help

but we'll see what that means.

But I'm here for you, I am...

I'm at a loss for words.

Ok, ok.

I'm getting the point, God.

I'm still fighting You on it,

fighting to defend myself,

but please don't stop-

I know You're right.

Keep backing me into that corner.

Keep perforating my pride.

Eventually I'll give up-

and I hope I completely can.

God, help me completely forgive

forget

feel

give my all

live recklessly, sharing Your love-

because I cannot do it myself right now.

You alone are above all this and can make it right.

Oh God.

Oh God...

I have found my roadblock in college.

My capstone professor has said that he wants me to dig deeper into issues that I write about for daily assignments.

But see,

I do say all of what I think on the issue. I don't quite reach the writing requirement length. And I definitely don't take a strong stance.

My problem?

I have given in to postmodern thought.

It rules me.

I've found that there is next to nothing that I can hold onto and say "I know this is true"-

so, having my postmodern brain, I think,

"Well, nobody can actually know for sure, so why try to figure it out?"

Knowledge is so important. And it so is not.

Well hello butterflies,

I am glad to know

that you have not become extinct within me.

:)