Monday, July 5, 2010

Lately I have wondered:

when I collapse into myself,
who will be there to coax me out?

When I have no words,
who will carry the conversation
and ask me things I can answer?

When I'm not funny,
who will stick around?

When I feel ugly,
who could care less, and go grunge with me?

When I seem to make excuses,
who will understand that even I don't get it?

When I get quiet,
who will notice and feel concerned?

Who will have compassion?
Who will care, no matter what?
Who can I always count on?

Who won't judge my unpredictable soul?
I can't even count on myself.

Don't worry- this is just me tonight.
I'll be fine tomorrow.
The questions won't hound my mind so unrelentingly.
But in this moment of clarity, I wonder.
What are my true friendships?

I put a lot in and I don't know how steadfast the return is.

It scares me.
And it makes my heart ache.

1 comment:

Amanda Jane said...

I like this post. I think these are questions most people struggle with sometimes without even knowing it...

Anyway...if you ever come to this place again I will be around. (my internet has not been stable the past few months so my facebook updates are all from work and I haven't been on blogger for a LONG time) But I'm glad it was only a temporary place for you. And I'm glad to have read that things are going well this summer :) and you're rockin the messy bun, etc.