I don't hear you.

I can't see you.

You're a ghost of a fictitious past.

I gaze at the outline and wonder where that time went

why words were said

were the actions dead.

Why go back when back was wrong?

Don't get along, little doggie.

pitterpat. pitterpat. pitter. pity.

Is this hurt forbidden-

knowing, deep in your mind, the truth is perpetually hidden?

It's all messed up.

and I'm away...

Words

spoken behind backs

ya'll don't know how to act

but both putting on a face

that doesn't hint at a trace- of hurt.

You just skirt.

Skirt around the issues

and try to push away the "i miss yous"

secretly yearning for the tissues

that will comfort more than this friend.

I tell you, this doesn't have to be the end.

You're both just jaded

but instead of talking it out, you play dead.

Both hoping the other will take that leap,

putting their heart out on their sleeve

and ripping through the resentment

but you've both found apathetic contentment to just sit

and wait

for the other

to move

like the world

will wait

and the other

will do.

Something.

JUST DO SOMETHING.

HEY:

the whole world is spinning and people are needing and if you aren't outraged at SOMETHING then you need to OPEN YOUR EYES.

This world is BROKEN.

God lives IN US.

We are God's HANDS, God's FEET.

If God doesn't seem very present in our world, rethink what is written directly above.

I don't really know

what to say or do,

but I'm praying about this;

I bet you are too.

I could really

go with a decoder about now.

What is up with me?

I'm supposed to be happy.

Carefree.

Lovely.

But all that is...just not present.

Why?

I cannot put my finger on it/them...

"And the world keeps spinnin, and I'm still livin..."

I have to do. I have to say it:

You only get so many days

so many breaths

so many minutes

where you are now.

And every good and bad thing that is happening could change.

You could never get it back, ever.

This moment, right now, is happening. Now.

Your life is a song,

a semblance of who you are, what you value, what you long for...

are you dancing?

Singing?

Throwing rotten tomatoes?

Crying at the sound, the noise?

Are you frozen in silence or cowering in the corner?

In any state: life is beckoning;

It's not going to wait for you.

It rambles on; it is relentless in its pursuit for tomorrow.

And I can taste the passion on my tongue.

I can feel the beating of my heart.

I feel the ache in my feet from staidness in my current predicament.

I want to move on, move forward-

but I can't bear the thought of departing from where I am now.

There is so much for me here, now.

And I am/have been/will waste my time.

My heart calls for something much more than the everyday.

I can't be throwing my days away.

But there are rules to follow and games to play-

but I simply don't want a part.

I want to tear apart the every day and breathe life and give my blessings away.

God, still my heart, for a moment, for I can't handle this passion that You've placed, burning inside of me.

Fill my days with opportunities.

Let me see what are the actual priorities.

Remind me to get on my knees and pray....

because I want to live, forever, in Your Way.

There is something about

fall and winter that gets me.

It gets me good.

It gets who I am and my heart and I simply want to hold onto these seasons because...they just get me.

They let me do as I wish:

snuggling up in blankets

sipping warm beverages

basking in the warm glow of soft lights

having an excellent excuse to stay in for the night

time to watch movies and read books

to write and organize and synthesize all the things I want to accomplish that long, sunny days will one day observe.

The fall and winter are restful seasons, to me.

They embrace my inner hermit that rarely gets to express itself.

Just my closest friends will see me. And my heart will wrap around theirs in a way that "stressed me" just can't relax enough to let happen. I can find my best self in these days.

My heart finds love in many forms during these seasons.

It is inspired in fresh ways during these seasons.

Those are good enough reasons to want them around

a little longer

I must say.

I'm loving today.