I have been daydreaming

about my future apartment/house.

And I am way excited about having one!

Here's what I have been thinking:

everything eclectic, new and old

various colors that are true

random cultural treasures from other countries

dishes and mugs that don't match

many secondhand items and furniture

a wall covered in brightly colored decorative plates

lots of house plants that I will enjoy watering

a parakeet that makes silly noises that I will giggle at

a couple of cats that are affectionate (get them off the farm, ya'll)

maybe a dog (future spouse will dictate this. and take care of it.)

And I will dress up and do classy things some nights.

Others, I will slip on my sweatpants and watch a film, all bundled up on the couch.

Man, that sounds good.

(Oy, I hope this doesn't effect my grades).

It's good to realize that

I need to just chill.

Brain, give me a break.

Thinking things through is good,

but not this overkill I experience too often.

I also don't want to push things away-

emotions should be dealt with in a timely matter or

BAM!

-random breakdown that seems out of control.

Shoot.

I don't want to plan my life.

Hey God- I'm not planning my life too much, am I? ...Are you laughing?

gotcha.

I strongly dislike

my time being wasted.

When I am stuck waiting somewhere with nothing productive to do, and I have things I should be getting done.

(Note: I'm certainly not anti "being lazy" when there is nothing to do,

but during the school year, I can ALWAYS be doing something.)

So tonight, much of my time was wasted.

And I was frustrated from earlier happenings.

And I had no control over the situation.

And it would have been rude for me to leave.

This was a musical situation, so I found myself dancing all over. I had to express something or I would get really upset.

And then, I felt it:

I felt the need to sing.

Not because I love to sing:

because I nEEDed to sing.

I had pent up energy and creativity.

I could do nothing else. I wanted to let it out.

I felt the blues. I felt the minor.

I wanted to write a song.

I wanted to write a song.

I wanted, to write a song.

The tips of my fingers

on my left hand no longer feel.

The callouses are building.

The sensitivity is long gone.

I have given it up

for the yearning to learn guitar.

Progress is going pretty well.

Strumming is natural because I am a drummer, a dancer, and I've been around some sweet guitarists for most of my life.

I can play a lot of chords-

even with just the basics, I can play a ton of songs.

I have lately taken to Taylor Swift.

(Dude, I thought "Our Song" was....an old song. But nope, it was Taaay!).

Anyway.

Though I have learned many chords

I've come to learn that I don't really have a knack for writing songs.

At least not yet.

If this continues I shall be very sad.

Until then, I shall strum along.

I beg of you.

Parents:

stop making your children grow up so fast.

Protect their innocence.

Do not keep them ignorant,

but let them understand at a child's rate.

Don't cover them in make up.

Don't let them watch whatever is on television.

Don't make them do all of your household duties.

Don't make them the babysitter every time.

Don't let them live with no discipline.

Don't elect them "man" or "woman" of the house.

Because they are not beyond adolescence.

Don't rob them of childhood.

Teach them manners.

Teach them creativity.

Teach them discipline and flexibility.

Teach them new things everyday.

Show them curiosity.

Show them how to live. Don't be a hypocrite.

Let them learn social skills.

Let them learn it's OK to be themselves.

Take an interest.

Take the time.

Invest in their future. It is now.

"Bring back the childhood of my youth"

I may return home

this weekend.

I need to drop off some things

I need to pick up some things

and the good Lord knows I have dirty laundry (thanks Madre!).

I look forward to my country escape;

where the air is cleaner

the stars are brighter

and sound is quieter.

Poppy will be harvesting,

but I will get some time with him.

I will sit alongside him in the combine

and I will love every moment.

I will visit Grandpa.

He is so old

and so wonderfully beautiful.

He has supported me my entire life.

His eyes sparkle when I enter the room.

He makes me so very happy- I must see him!

I will chill with Madre.

It's time for some good ol' girl time!

I will pull her away from doing the books

and we shall have fun and catch up on life.

Giggles will abound and Poppy will smirk at his silly girls.

Oh home. Come back to me.

Have you ever napped outdoors?

When the temperature was juuuust right?

When you didn't even need a blanket to cover up with because the atmosphere was just lovely?

I have.

It is glorious. and earthy. and mmm.

I usually find a nice place under a tree

grab a comfy blanket

and lay on down.

But the truth is, when it comes down to it,

I'm more of an indoorsy person.

Though I love nature and appreciate the outdoors

I am much more comfortable indoors.

I don't have to worry about my skin being eaten by the sun, for instance.

Or bugs crawling on me beyond their welcome.

And I don't like having to shower several times a day (hot days can be blehck for this normally warmer-than-average girl).

I would never rid my life of the outdoors though.

I love discovering new plants

climbing on rocks and trees

walking through streams

and feeling sunshine on my shoulders (thank you, John Denver).

It is glorious. I do get my fill.