To cross

means pain, but

to cross means progress.

I've been behind this fence so long.

Thinking so much of and for others.
It's time for me to consider moving forward.

For me.

For my life.

FOR NARNIA!

La vida.

We're born.

We go to school to gain knowledge.

We gain knowledge to get a job.

We get a job to support ourselves and be able to send our kids to college.

So they can get knowledge.

So they can get a job and support their families.

What a nasty cycle.

I do and don't want a part in it.

There are some days I just want to become a gypsy.

I'd float from place to place

meeting a lot of cool people

living frugally

not worrying about paying a heating bill

or getting the oil changed in the car

or investing money.

Just- live day to day.

Actually trust God for once.

moneymoneymoney, I spit on you.

..Then I wipe it off :(

I'm such a product of the system.

This is the first year

that I have gotten in the Christmas spirit

simply to lift my mood and help me push through.

I listen to carols.

I decorate.

I daydream of a warm, cozy house with a lit up tree.

I look forward to spending time with my brother, parents, and friends.

I am making a list of things to do during break. I must make the most of it.

It will be excellent.

It must, it must.

.although it's been said many times, many ways: merry Christmas...to you.

Good-bye Larry.

You were a good uncle.

I won't forget how you mowed your lawn in such straight lines

Or built that target for us kids to practice throwing a football through

That you loved gardening so much

That you were usually quiet, but when you did speak it was kind or funny

That you loved the 'tube

Your suspenders.

Nov, 29th, 2010.

R.I.P. Rest with Jesus.

Hmmm.

hmmm.....

What to do,

what to do.

It has been proven:

there IS an "I" in team.

This goes out too all you coaches that are tyrannical

nazi-like

and, well

incorrect.

Teamwork is not only good, it's great.

But the individual players matter too.

PS- You also say it's not all about winning, but you're actions speak otherwise. Adolescents want congruency: you are letting them down.

PPS- You have a great ability to have a positive impact. So....do it, all right?

I am not a performing monkey.

I only have so many talents, so many hours and so much energy.

You can pull at me from this direction

and you in that,

but I refuse to be torn apart.

I will remain intact.

I will do what I want and I will do what is needed.

You ask me for help, you ask to talk, you ask for a hug, you ask for a favor, you ask for my time

and..

I want to give it to you, I do.

So I do.

Then the next person asks as well.

So I do.

Eventually, I lose track of my goals because I'm making sure everyone else is comfortable.

And the crazy thing is:

I DO have the ability to say "no."

I feel selfish enough as it is.

But I do all this for others.

And I just want some "me time."

And others to care back. Care back and realize that sometimes I need to focus on me and let it not be selfishly.

.realizing.