Why are there days

when I feel like I cannot make decisions?

I feel I can't trust myself.

I worry too much of what others think,

so then I go to the other extreme and take hold of my life and live for myself. I take of a stance of sheer disobedience to my truly caring heart.

Then

I feel selfish.

And it continues to spiral downward.

Then, I just don't do anything.

As if I think standing still will keep me from hurting anyone else or myself.

And the spiral continues on...

until I find God again. And He fills me up.

My heart is longing. Where has He gone?

I miss my Love.

I miss my true heart.