You just never know

where life is going to take you.
Who will draw close to your heart and who won't.
Where the next step will be.
I have dreams- will they appear?

Some people always know what they want,
sometimes down to a tee.
Getting a job has opened my eyes to endless possibilities
as well as strengths and weaknesses within myself.

My mind gets cluttered-
I'm surrounded by noise and to-dos.
I miss feeling free.
I miss expression; deep reflections of the heart.
I want to escape; but I love and fear where I am.
In life. As a person. To whom and how I relate.

My life can take endless paths.
I can imagine different ones now.
How does one realize what they want?
What is best for myself, for the world?

Will I always keep dreaming, or will I start living?

.o, when did I get so old?.

How I did not forsee

this gradual onslaught of capacity in me

that's filling up, in what seemed like brevity?

But I know that's all wrong-

years have built this on,

like the slow composition of a beautiful song

that now, finally, longs to be sung.

And I had the audacity

to go and be brave and see

where the notes may fall.

Something gives me peace and hope through it all :)

Sweetness.

Close.

Warm.

Change.

Understanding.

Light.

Hope.

Joy.

A breath of fresh air, to me and my soul.

Sweetness.

Were we exactly where we were meant to be

underneath that Christmas tree...

Toca la guitarra

I never thought I'd really be a guitar girl.
I never thought I'd be leading a worship band.

Yet here I am.

                                                              God amazes me.

Hot Mess.

These words are best
to describe a life unsettled.

The past year has been one of the roughest of my life.
And things aren't completely as I wish them to be.
I'm ok- and I'm blessed,
but I feel I can never rest until I've got control.
And of what?
For what cause?
I'd like to make some time and think of it, take pause;
but I'm running ahead whilst standing still.
I've got to move soon or I fear to turn ill.

S.

Sitting on the bathroom floor
whispering your name to darkness
tears dropping all around
there's no consolation in this town.

Not really.
No one here knew you like I did.
And I can't rid myself of all the memories we had together (I'll keep them)
We said goodbye like we'd have forever... (mistakes, I hope not to repeat them)

You saw life as humorous and serious..
Serious you.
But then you'd break into song and dance-
and with a quick glance I'd give in to chance and prance with you.

You made life contagious-
your courage sprinkled our lives outrageous.

Thank you for your care.
Thank you for the deep talks.
Thank you for the long walks.
Thank you for always being you; unique and stunning you.

I kept the bracelet, I kept the movie.
I enjoyed the food, the fishing, the gaming, the dancing, romancing,
Climbing up the snow hill and taking you to choir,
In talks of growing up and faith, you always did inspire.
I learned a lot from you.  I'm shocked to see you're gone.
But in my heart and of those you love, you surely will live on.

Such a blessing in our lives, taken too soon.
I will miss you.

"There's one more angel in Heaven, there's one more star in the sky"