When there are no words

I could say

that would be honest and make things better

or I could be honest and make things worse..

How much does one keep in?

It seems I just can't win.

I want to be all I can

but circumstances call for choices I don't want to be making.

And the past creeps in silently, filling me with dread-

is it all in my head?

Sometimes I think I care too much.

Then I'm convinced I'm heartless.

Decide for me? For you? For them?

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT BEING HAPPY.

I'm not sure how I do it.

I can want and wait at the same time.

Somethin' inside me tells me it's fate-

that if it's gonna happen, it won't be late.

Some think I lack ambition

but it just strive for such a different mission.

Some goals are all full of holes;

mine are in a whole new dimension.

Intention.

I intend to be the best person I can be.
Taking life as it comes, without regret,

my words indelibly marked in your mind-

I won't waste your time.

The potential is fabulous, but you gotta grab at this

cuz the next second I'm walking

Can't understand just talking

Won't stand around gawking.

But my feet are the ones to move.

Shall I skip? Leap? Retreat?

Right now I'm just standin' still.

Proverbially tip-toeing 'round the tulips

til these two lips can utter will.

I would gladly

take a little purrer on my chest for awhile.

.adorables.

It's hard to watch

other people struggle.

Especially when you know what's up

but there's a boundary you can't cross.

When you know how to make them smile;

You know what they want-

You can guess what they need-

but their relation to you is unhealthy,

so you must bow out and simply watch

the pain

the struggle

the brokenness

...such floundering.

And all I want to do is pick up the pieces and present them in a way that could bring healing.

My heart is still here.

I can feel my pulse.

It's there

it's there...

My heart breaks

with the most beautiful sound

of having been blessed

by you, with you, for you

sister~

It breaks to be away;

it breaks every day

and God just keeps building us stronger.

[How much longer til we see each other?]

And dare I go on?

I could sputter of our kinship until a new rising dawn-

but it wouldn't get anywhere.

We're so rare, and we care, and share until no words are left

then we're enraged at the felony as time commits theft.

Then we part, both feeling bereft.

So we curse the distance!

Bless the persistence.

Praise the existence.

God lies immanent in this friendship:

Tastier than a corn chip.

Funnier than a comic strip.

More epic than a film clip.

More adventure than a plane trip.

Love ya, sis :)

KONY 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

Be a part of something bigger than you, bigger than me.

Be a part of justice.

Be global.

Spread hope and love.

This world is not beyond saving. We can pull together.

DO something :)

I miss my cat.

RIP Cuddles.

My 14-year-old, outdoor kitty

white with black spots, golden eyes

My lil holstein kitty.

I never want to forget:

You wandered through our garden one day during a picnic;

I picked you up.

Up you went, on top of my head,

and I wanted you for mine.

You belonged to the neighbors

so back you went,

and this 8-year-old was spent.

Too many pets, so back you came, to my arms and to my heart.

I plopped you on the couch or I plopped you on my bed, hoping we never would part.

I told you about Jesus, hoping to save your soul, hoping you'd forever live.

Oh "Christian cat," the times I threw you in the blanket, I hope you did forgive.

The time you pooped in my beanbag chair, I wasn't even mad.

The time Dad kicked you for being on the counter really made me sad.

The times you hid behind the couch for you believed the vacuum to be bad...

I miss.

Your gangly paws.

Your nonexistent meow.

Your grand "king of the jungle" stare.

I miss.

For the time you comforted when Grandma passed away.

For the times you ran through blizzards, to my arms to stay.

For the times you were beside me, while sick, you would lay.

I am thankful.

Lying in the sun, sleeping on Dad's belly, attacking the tent, chasing the baton, letting me dress you in doll's clothing, putting up with the brother spinning you on the kitchen floor, being such a gentle spirit.

I am reminiscent.

You lost a lot of teeth.

Your brain went a little fuzzy.

Randomly skipping about, and licking at nothing.

We kept you in, we kept you close,

kept you safe and wiped your nose;

until time stood still and it was time to go.

And my fondness of you will never go.

Of all the farm cats that did come and go..

you were always my cat. Part of the family. The one that stayed, survived. Thrived.

Love ya. Miss ya.