You see,

and it shall be interesting

getting to know you.

And seeing if you

can get to know me.

Hrmph.

I hate being told, more or less, to

"
."

People: your words are important.

What's happening with you is important.

You, you are important.

Please don't brush the big things off.

Don't leave those close to you wondering and hurting.

You matter.

I care, I do.

I wish you would.

.there is a thin line between selflessness - and selfishness.

Oh, the ache in my bones.

I don't even want to go anywhere today.

It seems a perfect time to curl up and sleep. To dream. To wish and ponder and fret and realize and relish and relax and remember.

I don't even want to go anywhere.

I just want to stay inside,

read books,

watch movies,

sip hot cocoa,

snuggle up,

chat with people who are important to me.

I typically greet the day, but

I don't even want to go anywhere.

..so here I go.

If you're down

and feeling blue,

let somebody know.

No one should have to struggle alone.

We're meant to do life together.

Lean on me,

lean on me til you're better.

In the adjective-name game,

you know, the one that goes,

"Jolly Jeffrey,

Ticklish Tara,

Rad Randy,

Awesome Amy," etc?

Well.

I always had difficulties thinking of adjectives that started with a "K" besides "kind" (I was far too creative to settle for the normal).

So.

I would say "Kaleidoscope Kate" and everyone would look at me funny.

Little did they know, I really do relate to a kaleidoscope. Let me explain.

Like a kaleidoscope, I:

love many different colors.

keep things moving when someone needs it from me, but will totally chill when left to my own devices.

am here to delight and inspire.

creatively change things within a structure.

am constantly changing.

I have so many facets to my personality, sometimes I wonder if it's normal.

Some days I really channel my inner:

Nerd.

Athlete.

Farmer's Daughter.

Refined lady.

Gangsta.

Hipster.

Goofball.

etc.

I don't really feel I fit into any one of these boxes alone; hooray diversity!

I am me; who are you?

I like to get things done.

The more I do, the less stress I have.

This makes it easier for me to focus on the more important things.

For example:

I have reading and writing to do today.

But before that, I got up early so I could:

do laundry,

wash dishes,

take out the trash & recycling,

make a trip to Wal*Mart,

work out & shower,

etc.

Sometimes I take study breaks and do these things as well.

They really aren't chores that I dread doing, they are tasks that feel good once they're accomplished. :)

There's a beautiful difference.

Time to go to work!

Sometimes it's difficult to leave.

But you can do it.

You deserve much better, I am telling you.

It's easy to brush things off, explain them away so it doesn't hurt so much...justify others' actions and words to make it easier for you to stay with them...

don't.

Reality is going to hurt

and I hope it hurts just enough that moving on seems the only intelligent option.

No one should stay in a relationship where they are not valued and appreciated.

You are a frisbee, not a boomerang.

Maybe even a glow-in-the-dark frisbee!

You got this :)

P.S.

To all my readers:

I love you all. :)

It makes my day to read a newly posted comment

or hear that someone liked or was intrigued by a recent post.

I want you to understand the little silly things

and the big, heavy things

that inspire me and make my heart beat a little more truly.

You are so beautiful

and exciting

and inspiring.

And, you know me better than most.

Congrats on being fantastic and keeping up with me and my musings ;)

I appreciate your interest *sincere blush&smile*

I used to think I had all the answers.

Boy, was I dumb.

Now I hear, I ponder, and I move forward

-sometimes wearing a festive hat to make the day more exciting.

Because it's just so much knowledge.

How about we walk outside and actually start living?

There is so much more to life than who's right and who's wrong.

Let's just keep moving, doing our best to make things a little brighter.

I am an individual and I can make a difference, with or without books.

With or without all the answers.

...I just want to hug everybody, ok?

As I mature

I realize that I don't need to please everybody to be liked.

I don't need to be entertaining to be loved.

I need not cage myself in because of what others might think. My possibilities are endless!

I can be myself. Those who like me may stay, those who don't- it's ok. It's just life.

I've become tired of sugar-coating my words

I've grown weary in worrying of stepping on someone else's toes.

I don't really want to be a big deal. I want to be treasured for who I truly am, not for who I've tried to win you over to like.

Now, I'm not gonna go bustin' out saying negative things whenever they cross my mind-

and I'm not going to forget societal norms and rules-

but I want to think past what I've always thought was expected of me. I just want to..be. And thrive, obviously ; )

To clarify: I have not put on a face, an act, or a show up until this point. God's timing is perfect. I simply hadn't found it within myself to realize that I don't have to try so hard all the time. I am me. And I just want to be.

So sad.

It hurts.

And you leave like a swift band-aid removal:

shock at the initial lack of pain,

then the sting comes rushing afterwards and smarts.

I wish we didn't have such differences.

I wish you knew what you did, and what you're doing.

This is all probably for the best.

This hurt is better than how continuation would hurt.

I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Ouch, again and once more.

Babies are beautiful gifts.

A laugh or a smile from them can brighten anyone's day.

Over break I had the opportunity to meet my friend's nephew. He was soooo adorable!

The way he stares and the hundreds of expressions he has are so priceless.

The way he kick-kick-kicks for no reason at all is hilarious.

And I think his belly is magnetic. I just wanted to tickle him constantly!

What a beautiful, grand blessing in such a tiny package.

I think my biological clock ticked a tid after that.

Schwoah babies.

Whoa- look out: